Parenting

Do we really need MORE rules?

Little Bobby is angry because his mommy has just informed him that it’s time to turn off Octonauts. Bobby identifies the closest weapons cache he can find, a bucket of blocks. In his indignation he begins World War III, hurling the wooden projectiles at his mommy while repeatedly yelling, “TV ON!”

Mommy lunges for the cupboard and pulls out a lid that belongs to one of her largest pots, flexing it as if she were Wonder Woman and this was her shield. Diverting the flying blocks she slowly makes yardage towards her son while screaming unloaded threats, and after calculating the distance and risks, she throws away her shield and pounces on her son like a cheetah, pinning his throwing arm under her mommy belly. He begins to cry (an adorable little boyish cry) in defeat. He’s so cute when he’s humble.

Meanwhile, daddy selfishly works in his quiet cubicle, sipping on a green tea latte, listening to his favorite Deftones album that is discreetly playing in the background. It’s too much for mommy to think about that right now. Bobby’s behavior is undoubtedly an indicator that daddy works too much.

Mommy slowly unpeels herself off of little Bobby who is still sobbing.

“Honey,” she calmly speaks. “We don’t throw things.”

One last bolt of anger rages shoots through Bobby, and he lunges back for the blocks. Mommy once again pounces like a ninja.

The blocks aren’t the problem.

They are just toys that have become weaponized. If Mommy throws away the blocks in hopes of having a safer home, Bobby will only find something else that can be thrown.

Throwing the blocks isn’t the issue either.

If mommy punishes Bobby for throwing things, next time, his method may adapt, and mommy may have to face an evolved form of retaliation, like a homemade catapult.

Well then, should mommy put on her psychologist hat and go five kinds of Doctor Phil (or Danny Silk if that’s more your thing) on her son; diving into the layers of generational issues that may be accounting for little Bobby’s behavior? Probably not.

What then is a better solution?

Determining and creating the kind of culture that you want in your home – preferably using Heaven as your blueprint.

Life can become a series of compounding widgets and apps; little hacks in behavioral modification and cultural manipulation that make life tolerable and yet desperately unfruitful.

Surface level tweaking demands no accountability, and yet significant micromanagement. At a certain point, a parent won’t even be able to keep track of all the rules they have to create to maintain order.

Consider the marketplace. Many times job descriptions are used to control people’s production versus empowering it; barking orders and delegating tasks lists in the same way that one may command Siri (the robot lady who talks to you on your iPhone) to send a text message.

Treating people like artificial intelligence only prepares them to be replaced by AI in the coming years. Healthy cultures and corporations celebrate one's freedom to make choices, be creative and break through barriers thereby making history.

We’ve got to get out of the weeds and start seeing things from Heaven.

What is the culture of our home, work, church, neighborhood, city, and nation going to look like on our watch?

Don’t begin at home, start in Heaven.

What does the culture of Heaven look like? Now reverse engineer it, frame it and state it.

Leaders don’t need to wear themselves out trying change the culture when they can create new contrasting cultures.

I often tell my children, “In our family, we don’t throw fits. If you were in a different family, then you might get away with it. We are Stotts, and God has big things in store for us.”

My destiny is not personal at all. It’s corporate and generational. The call of God on my life isn’t individualistic; it’s apart of a legacy linage. I have to create a culture in my homes because the culture we create is what will hold me accountable.

When our leadership consists of mostly behavior tweaking, we are passively teaching people how to hack standards and perform at the minimum level required, but when we communicate our desired culture, and then uphold the measures necessary to achieve that result, we are actively displaying the dynamics of the Kingdom that can transform nations.

We don’t need more laws or more swimming pool rules. We need culture creating leaders. It's time to engage heaven for the transformation of the Earth.

Culture > Behavioral Tweaking.

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Culture > Behavioral Tweaking.

When our leadership consists of mostly behavior tweaking, we are passively teaching people how to hack standards and perform at the minimum level required